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Last Updated: Feb 16th, 2008 - 17:39:39 |
Student parents balance books and babies | Undergraduate moms and dads welcome new family
The average college student probably does not have to worry about daily feedings, diapers or day care.
These things, however, are an everyday reality for five people living double lives as student parents.
"Every parent worries about raising their child in the world today"
Senior Jerry Jones and his wife Michelle Jones eagerly are expecting the arrival of their first child. Michelle, who is due July 15, said their mindset on children was: If it happened, it happened.
"We weren't actively trying, but we weren't preventing it from happening either," she said. "... It definitely wasn't a mistake or anything."
Jerry said they were very excited when they found out Michelle was pregnant, and Michelle said having a baby will change their lives but not their plans.
Jerry said the couple qualifies for Medicaid, which, Michelle added, means the expenses for the pregnancy and birth are covered.
Michelle said that otherwise the couple doesn't have too many concerns about the future aside from normal parental worries.
"Obviously every parent worries about raising their child in the world today and making sure you're doing everything you should be doing," she said. "I think that's pretty common."
Jerry, who wants to be a preschool or elementary teacher, said he wants to do his student instruction in another country.
"And if they will accommodate us, we still want to take our baby with us and go do that over there," he said. "But if not, it's not like I'll be regretting that for the rest of my life. I'll be extremely happy."
Michelle, who moved to Kirksville to be with Jerry, is currently not a student. She said the couple decided her pregnancy would be less stressful if she did not have to deal with the strain of classes and the accompanying workload.
Michelle added she still would not be a Truman student even if she were not pregnant because the University does not offer courses in deaf education, which is the degree she to wants pursue.
"It's not like I dropped out of school because I was pregnant," she said.
In the meantime, Michelle Jones works as a
hostess at Ruby Tuesday's. She said she is excited to be a mother, and Jerry said hearing the baby's heartbeat for first time was an incredible experience.
Both said their parents have been supportive of the couple.
"My dad is really, really excited," Michelle said. "He was actually disappointed that it was Friday night when I called to tell him I was pregnant because he was going to have to wait until Monday to tell all his friends at work."
"I love him"
Sophomore Ashley Tomten and her husband, freshman Tim Tomten, are experiencing life as the parents of an infant.
Ashley Tomten delivered her son Bradley at Columbia Regional Hospital last September. She said she was supposed to stay in Kirksville for the birth, but a diagnosis of preeclampsia, pregnancy-induced high blood pressure, prompted her to move her care to the Columbia facility, which has an advanced neonatal unit.
Tomten said a few of the most exciting things about being a parent have been seeing Bradley, who was born prematurely, grow and taking him out to new places.
"He's not going to be afraid of people, I don't think," Tomten said. "... I started a belly dancing club, and they're always hovering over him."
Tomten said she has had to take Bradley to a few classes, but her professors have been understanding. She also said that when she has to nurse her son in class or at belly dancing, she does it discreetly.
"I think everybody that's around me is pretty used to it by now," she said.
Tomten, who said she initially freaked out about being pregnant, went to the Student Health Center for assistance.
"[The health center] gave me this huge packet of information and what doctors I could go to and stuff," she said.
Tomten said her father was not pleased with the pregnancy at first, but he accepted it, and now both her parents are very supportive.
Tomten said she and her husband have not had any major financial problems so far.
"We've got enough to take care of everything, but it would be nice to have some more," she said.
Tomten said people don't often comment on her age, although she does receive strange looks sometimes. Tomten also said she never had second thoughts about keeping Bradley.
"I love him," she said. "I want another one someday."
Tomten wants to be a teacher, and she said that by the time she starts working, her son will be in kindergarten.
"It will be a good schedule," she said.
Tomten said being a student parent is not as hard as people think it is.
"Our schedules are opposite, so whenever I'm in class, [Tim] is here, and whenever he's in class I'm here," she said. "We don't even really have to find a babysitter or anything."
"I wanted her to have the best opportunities"
Fifth-year student Sarah Tschiggfrie made the choice to place her daughter Sidney up for adoption.
"I wanted her to have the best opportunities in life and parents who were married," Tschiggfrie said.
Tschiggfrie said she did not want to go to Planned Parenthood, so she searched online for a pro-life resource. Lifeline Pregnancy Resource Center was the first place she went.
Tschiggfrie said Lifeline was instrumental in helping her throughout her pregnancy and in the adoption process, which she described as difficult and requiring much prayer and consideration.
Tschiggfrie ended up placing her daughter Sidney, now almost six months old, in an open adoption. In an open adoption, birth parents and adoptive parents have the option of communicating with each other. Tschiggfrie, who said she calls her daughter's adoptive parents about once per week, praised the system because under it the children are aware of being adopted.
"It's healthy for everyone involved," she said.
Tschiggfrie now serves as an adoption spokesperson for Lifeline.
"I'm open about sharing my story," she said.
"I've grown up a lot"
If you see a preschooler wandering around Pickler Memorial Library, she's probably the daughter of Bobbie Davis.
Davis, a 25-year-old non-traditional student, said she would rather skip class than take her daughter Abbie to school with her. She does, however, often take Abbie to the University's library.
"If you see a little 4-year-old [there], it's probably mine," she said.
Davis originally attended Moberly Area Community College but quit after a year when she became pregnant. Davis eventually went back to finish her degree program there, and she is now an English major at the University.
Davis said that looking back, she did not imagine herself with a child. She said, however, having Abbie has taught her a number of things, including an appreciation for life.
"I've grown up a lot - you have to as a parent," she said.
Davis said she had a job last semester, but she quit because she felt too overwhelmed trying to balance her time between working, studying and spending time with her daughter.
"It's difficult," she said. "You feel guilty for devoting your time to studies."
Davis said she and Abbie's father had been together for seven years, but they separated when their daughter was 2 years old. The couple shares custody of Abbie, who sees her father every other weekend.
Davis said as a non-traditional student, she doesn't connect as much with the younger and more traditional students.
"A lot of my friends are moms, and we talk about kids and potty training," she said.
Davis said she has met other students with small children at the University.
"Every once in a while you'll meet one in a class," she said. "I find that comforting, like, 'Oh, I'm not the only one.'"
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