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Adoption Desk Last Updated: May 16th, 2008 - 11:10:25


Couple do more than just fill a void
By Mary Haupt
May 23, 2006, 13:45

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If expectant mothers crave pickles and ice cream, adoptive mothers crave information. Adoptive fathers do, too.

They want to know what they've missed between the time their child was born and the time that child became their very own.

They wonder about daily routines, special moments -- and all the "firsts" in their child's life. First coos, first smile -- all those "little" things that mean so much to a parent, and that adoptive parents might miss, depending on how old their child is when that child is placed with them.

So it matters, a lot, when someone takes the time to record those special moments in words and images.

Someone like Barb Caveny.

If you happened to see the Mother's Day edition of this newspaper, you would have seen Barb's smiling face on the front page as she stood near the crib where she has cared for 60 babies between the time they were born and the time they were placed with their adoptive families by Catholic Social Services in Binghamton. You would have seen the gallery of baby pictures on the walls behind her -- testament to her belief, as she told reporter Rahkia Nance, that each of those little lives matters.

Since December 1983, Barb and her husband, John, have provided a warm and loving home to infants whose birth mothers have decided to surrender them for adoption -- or who need more time to think that choice through. As Barb sees it, she and John are filling a void.

But they do much more than that. Besides loving and nurturing each baby who comes into their Vestal home, they take lots of pictures so the adoptive parents can see what their little one looked like -- even soon after the child was born. And Barb keeps notes about the infant's daily routine, sleeping and eating habits, special outings -- plus any "firsts" she observes. Those pictures and those notes are more precious than gold in the hands of the people who will raise that child and love that child forever.

All those people who, like Barb and John Caveny, open their homes and their hearts for the sake of children whose lives are in transition deserve more credit than I could ever give them. But I will say this: It takes something rare and remarkable to do what they do, to let these children come into their lives for a short time, knowing the children will leave one day to be loved and cherished by someone else.

I thank them, not just as someone who sees a special need in our community being so capably filled, but because once upon a time, a long time ago, one of the babies whose photos line the nursery wall at the Cavenys' house came home with me -- to be my very own.

Haupt teaches journalism at Binghamton University and is a copy editor for the Press & Sun-Bulletin. Write to her at mhaupt@pressconnects.com or c/o Press & Sun-Bulletin, P.O. Box 1270, Binghamton, NY 13902-1270.


© 2005 Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin

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